FUN FUN FUN!!!

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than going to a garage makes you a
mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the
one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room
with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion
that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed
of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other
parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth.
Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing
the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than
coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and
throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you
counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you
to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they
move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice
contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.